Edmund Blair Leighton, English
Cecil Couldn’t Believe He Was Really About To Crash Ben and J.Lo’s Wedding. Hopefully No One Would Notice He Didn’t Actually Look Like Matt Damon, 1890
Oil on panel
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at a prior blog entry.
/// Kingsley knew from the church bell’s third chime,
he’d arrived at The Appointed Time.
but the high gate was locked
and his entry was blocked.
Were he not scared of heights he would climb.
/// He’d received from his love an epistle.
Was her absence from here a dismissal?
He would summon her now
If he only knew how
to, with fingers in mouth, loudly whistle.
/// Kingsley’d hoped to be married this eve,
but, to do so he’d had to deceive
his love’s father, the Earl.
Should he wait for the girl?
Would she wed him, or was he naïve?
/// Had he some way of getting inside,
he had hoped to elope with a bride.
When, to dress, he began,
“climbing” wasn’t his plan.
He prefers getting naked to “ride.”
/// Had bold Kingsley decided to try
climbing up that gate (ten plus feet high),
his sharp spurs could have caught
on grilles artfully wrought,
(and he might well have punctured his thigh).
/// Because Kingsley’s IQ wasn’t great,
he decided to wait for his date.
Though his girl never came,
she should not share the blame.
Kingsley stood all night at the wrong gate!
/// The epistle his lady love wrote
had the power, he thought, to emote.
She expressed a desire
to be freed from her sire.
For the Earl was an evil old goat.
/// Running off was the girl’s only hope,
so she wrote out a plan to elope.
She described when she’d wait
by the Castle’s East Gate.
Kingsley stood by the West one– the dope!
/// For the costume ball, Jeremy took
great pains matching his character’s look.
His date Sheila looked swell
as a hot Tinker Bell,
but he’d somehow misplaced his fake hook!
/// Hook caught Tinker Belle once in a trap,
and he forced her to sit in his lap.
She spent all her time crying.
From despair, she lay dying.
He’d have saved her… but Hook cannot clap.
/// Cecil’s Sea Serpent, (A.K.A. “wienie”)
was no monster, in fact it was teeny.
He wanted to be slick,
but felt really sea-sick.
Cecil covered it up with a Beanie.