MASTERPIECE #2868

/// Stiffly posed Roman Soldier at Rest,
thought “at ease” meant the same as “undressed.”
There’s a plain leather strap
half-obscuring his lap.
On display is his smooth-shaven chest.

/// Posing nude has strict rules— they’re not fun.
Let your genitals show and you’re done.
Bared buff buns are no sin;
expose most of your skin;
as for nipples, we’ll let you flash one.

/// Soldier’s sinister hand grasps his lance,
while his dextrous one points to his pants
on the ground, out of sight.
They’ll be donned for a fight.
His best weapon? A smoldering glance.

/// A skilled soldier whose spear shaft is longer
can defeat foes who may be much stronger.
If he goes for the “kill”
with just length, but no skill,
he will learn he could not have been wronger.

/// He is sitting upon a red cloak,
which belonged to a much taller bloke.
All his pals gathered ‘round,
when it dragged on the ground,
and they laughed at their practical joke.

/// He grew tired of hearing those japes
about mismatching “carpet” and “drapes.”
Beard and hair would get bleached
where the strong sunlight reached.
Now he only wears crotch-baring capes.

/// For a nudist he seems rather pallid.
There’s a reason, which seems to be valid.
Getting sun in the nude
guarantees he’d be viewed
by those guys who’d crack wise, “Toss your salad?”

/// Lewd suggestions would make him feel surly.
He was sensitive for one so burly.
To not seem so “girly,”
he’d grown a beard early.
And kept all of his hair short and curly.

/// Can ex-soldiers find work? Here’s one answer:
This man did, using skills as a lancer.
His strong grip, being tough,
looking good in the buff—
helped him land his job as a pole dancer.