Jean Béraud, French
Emily Was Hopeful That She and Kevin Could Talk Things Out, But the Restraining Order Meant They Were Going To Have To Shout, 1900
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page may have more).
Perhaps more about him can be found here.
That's funny.
/// Hilde needed to board ship today,
so she sent for a cabriolet
which would pick her up here
and then rush to the pier,
but she feared it might first pass his way.
/// Gaston lived nearby— just cross la rue.
(Stealing cabs was a thing he would do.)
So to “lock-in” her ride,
Hilde swallowed her pride
and then raised her hem over her shoe!
/// This lewd action she quickly regretted.
“What if Gaston had seen?” she now fretted.
Exposing her ankle
continued to rankle,
but she got to the ship, though she sweated.
/// Six score years ago, give or take two,
“social distancing,” nobody knew.
All at once ‘twas invented
by a woman (demented),
who thought babies were “caught” like the flu.
/// She developed complex arcane laws
to determine how far she withdraws.
If she thought a man stunning,
from him, she’d flee running,
but could stand near a man who had flaws.
/// With strict standardization her goal,
(and to guard against those who’d cajole),
she would chart and survey,
and keep “hotties” away
utilizing her own ten-foot-pole.