Eduard von Grützner, German
The Christmas Eve Instagram Post That Would Be Entered Into Evidence at Santa’s DUI Trial, 1910
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here (Google translated), and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page may have more).
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/// Sir John Falstaff sat close to the table,
(or as close as his girth could enable).
He clutched his wine jug
and his full pewter mug.
He’s much better than real; he’s a fable.
/// A companion to youthful Prince Hal,
but not suitable as a King’s pal.
As a glutton, he’ll ape
the wine jug’s spheroid shape.
Sherry sack helps him keep up morale.
/// Falstaff’s gut’s full of sack, (what he drinks).
He would down it with big smiles and winks.
Not above petty sin,
with mates at Boar’s Head Inn,
he was called a sack full of… what stinks.
/// For millennia Santa was miffed,
never got even one Christmas gift.
There were cookies and milk,
and more snacks of that ilk,
but he mostly was given short shrift.
/// Then, this year, when his “list” was complete
he discovered a special new treat.
“To S. Claus” read the label
on the jug on the table.
It was filled with the best aquavit.
/// Christmas Day can’t be beat, some believe;
there are others who claim that’s naive.
Take your pick, either way.
Bette Davis would say
that tonight it is all about Eve!