George Schöbel, German
Overwhelmed Stork Wondering If He Should Just Hang It Up and Sell His Delivery Routes To Amazon, 1898
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to his Google translated German Wikipedia page (lifespan details in question).
/// Schöbel’s “Destiny” painting’s abstruse:
Eight tots swaddled; each like a papoose.
Bedecked babies who modeled
were quite clearly not coddled.
Is this parable? No! Child abuse.
/// This assortment of kids is perverse.
Why show Destiny as not diverse?
Eight cute babies, all white—
wait, hold on… it’s alright!
One’s a girl, and her destiny? Nurse.
/// Mrs. Stork displays wisdom to wait,
and not drink ‘til she’s flown the last eight.
Once, she took wing when plastered
and then dropped the poor bastard.
That kid’s destiny? Cancelled by fate.
/// In the spotlight these kids remain calm.
Being watched causes nary a qualm.
To call them demure
would be premature.
They’ll be born to the famed Octomom.
/// There’s a line-up of eight tots today,
for delivery in the old way.
It is storks and not owls,
(with their hooting and howls),
who will bring in the Hogwarts Pre-K.