Julius LeBlanc Stewart, American
“Well, This Is Odd. I Don’t Remember Ordering Something Called the ‘Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity,'” 1884
Oil on panel
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at a prior blog entry.
/// Listen, Maud, to an interesting letter
which was written by Rod, my chief debtor.
How he offers to pay,
(an unorthodox way),
is by being my baby’s begetter.
/// He’s aware that my husband’s infertile,
(and resembles a near-sighted turtle),
but we both want an heir,
and Rod’s willing to swear
that for cash he will conquer that hurdle.
/// Though a man of now much reduced means
he still claims to have excellent genes.
Guarantees satisfaction
for this fiscal transaction.
Rod has satisfied two different Queens.
/// So, I ask you, Maude, should I accept?
It may turn out that Rod is inept.
But I do want a child.
Tell me— you’ve been defiled,
is Rod someone with whom you have slept?
/// Here’s a moral for men deep in debt:
Put yourself out to stud? You’ll regret
that this scheme you had hatched.
For some strings are attached,
Rod is now that wife’s marionette.