Titian, Italian
In Retrospect, Alfonso Really Wished the Date For His Official Portrait Sitting Had Fallen on a School Day, 1533
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Italian Wikipedia page has more).
/// To Alfonso, was it a disgrace
that his page tried to cover his face?
Did the kid underwhelm
him, presenting his helm?
Al won’t say, he just stares into space.
/// Calm Alfonso keeps holding his pose
with his forehead lit bright, so it glows.
In this portrait by Titian
poor Alfonso is wishin’
he could scratch that damned itch on his nose.
/// He had asked not for helmet, but saber.
But his page lent the sword to Al’s neighbor.
True, he ought to have checked.
Still, what can you expect
when you have to depend on child labor.
/// Other pages would only shine shoes.
(Those in back had no option to choose.)
But this boy’s at the head.
Other pages he led.
He’s the frontpage; he heralds the news.
/// There are problems with armor, no doubt.
For example, a knight growing stout,
who can’t move in a fight
when his suit is too tight,
needs a welder to let the thing out!
/// “Wearing armor is something I hate.
I’m surrounded by thick metal plate.
Though it’s not any fun
marching hours in hot sun,
I can sweat off a great deal of weight.”
/// Al inquired of his armorer friends
what to do when digestive pain rends.
The debate was contentious,
but, at last, a consensus.
The advice to Alfonso: “Depends.”