Carl Röchling, German
“Captain, These Three Soldiers Were Born With Feet Where Their Hands Should Be. So I Would Argue They Actually Belong in the Cavalry Division,” 1890
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, and here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Other soldiers might whisper and snicker,
but these three knew that they’d advance quicker.
Each obsequious toad,
(in a base servile mode),
was a practiced and skillful bootlicker.
/// After training they’d party with keggers.
That’s illegal, and why the poor beggars
wore their boots on their arms.
To prevent the gendarmes
from suspecting that they were bootleggers.
/// They discovered there’s no way to shoot,
when each hand is encased by a boot.
One more thing that they dread,
it’s a kick in the head
when returning another’s salute.
/// “All our sleeves have been stiffened with starch
and we grip the boots inside the arch.
Swinging arms to increase pep,
we have named it the “Geese-step.”
Doing double high kicks while we march.”
/// Since that marching style’d been introduced
camaraderie had been produced.
But do not bear the brunt.
If you’re too close in front
of a goose-stepper, you may be goosed.