Jules Arsène Garnier, French
“You Know, I’m Going To Go Out On a Limb and Guess That Your Husband DOES Check Your Texts,” 1876
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Google translated French Wikipedia page.
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/// Two nude actors pretending to fear a
pair of whips from an earlier era.
As adulterous lovers
(for whom no clothing covers),
the film stars Johnny Depp and Shakira.
/// And the little black dog’s feeling glad
to confront these two actors, unclad.
He frequently bares
young girls’ derrières.
He’s the pup from the Coppertone ad.
/// He had thought that they’d both get away
with some secret adulterous play.
His libidinous urges
got them both lashed with scourges,
but in this course they won’t get an “A.”
/// Higher learning was run by the Church.
They forbade “independent research.”
Of cool jackets (Varsity)
there now was a sparsity.
So, “unlettered” they’re caned with a birch.
/// That stern mob of adults must be proud
they had brought all those kids to the crowd.
It’s a show rated “X”
(for the nude scenes and sex),
but there’s no damned blaspheming allowed.
/// The adultery? Sure, that was swell.
But it wasn’t worth going to Hell.
He’s not turned on by sin;
in fact, he turned them in!
It’s the whipping he craves, can’t you tell?
/// “There’s no bliss like the intoxication
from this pain and nude humiliation.
In fact, (I’ll be direct),
I don’t get this erect
from coitus or from masterbation.”