Jacques-Louis David, French
Leonidas Making Mental Note To Take His Sweet Time When Re-Sheathing His Sword, 1814
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Greece and Persia were two warring nations.
They’d been enemies for generations.
Leonidas might yell,
“Tonight, we dine in Hell!”
But I doubt that he made reservations.
/// A devil was their maître d’
when three hundred came thirsting for tea.
They got what they deserved
and were expertly served
to each other, in wine fricassee.
/// Leonidas died on this excursion,
killed by soldiers of Xerxes, the Persian.
We still know Leo’s name.
(In his loss he found fame.)
So why sweat some pre-battle perversion?
/// Yet, was orgy the very best way
to prepare for a war the next day?
Leo’s lewd rationale
was to raise the morale
of the troops for whom death is risqué.
/// For the battle they’ll gird up their loins,
but tonight every drunk soldier joins
with a handsome Greek boy
for libidinous joy.
Meanwhile Leo is posing for coins.
/// Leonidas had made a decision
which required steel nerves and precision.
Leo gripped his sharp blade,
grit his teeth and then made
himself Jewish (by self-circumcision).
/// Facing certain death, this Spartan frets.
Leonidas was hedging his bets.
If he joined every creed
one god might intercede.
And help Leo give Xerxes a zetz!