Wilhelm von Kobell, German
Now That the Field Had Gotten Plowed, Father Figured It Was His Turn, 1800
Watercolor
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MASTERPIECE #2803
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here (Google translated, both NDB and ADB), and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Bing translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// When your plow-horses amble too slow,
(fertilizing the field as they go),
and the sun burns too hot
on your small stony plot,
take a break for a rustic tableau.
/// The two children are both much too callow,
(and the smallest is sickly and sallow),
to assist you to plow,
but the fear you have now—
that your wife’s secret grave is too shallow.
/// This drunk plowman’s a practical guy,
with a “process” for when spouses die.
It wouldn’t surprise her
she’s now fertilizer,
had she known he interred her with lye.
/// In obeying the Word of his God,
he would never have tried “spare the rod.”
Plows are beaten from swords,
and his late wives’ rewards
are, the beatings have stopped ‘neath the sod.
/// Thirsty plowman’s whole family are drinkers.
Now his plow keeps on turning up clinkers.
And the way this drunk acted
kept his horses distracted.
They’d plow straight if he’d given them blinkers.
/// Father rests and he takes a long sip
of some schnapps, (he enjoys a good nip).
But then right back to work,
or the farm owner’s clerk
will “encourage” his toil with that whip.
/// To enable the plowman to steer
takes a drink that’s more potent than beer.
Sometimes, whipping he likes.
Not now, here with his tykes.
(He would feel like a real horse’s rear.)