Elias Martin, Swedish
Kevin Suddenly Realized There’d Been a Terrible Mistake. What Did This Have To Do With Data Entry? Yes, Starting Tomorrow, He Was Definitely Going To Have To Look For a New Temp Agency, 1782
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Swedish Wikipedia page has more).
/// For King Gustav the third, (he’s in red
with the white powdered wig on his head),
they sought one volunteer
to stand naked up here.
“And he must measure up!” the King said.
/// Arts Academy folks went along,
(for the King brought with him a great throng).
The nude can’t be too proud
to be viewed by a crowd.
And they’re all thinking, “It won’t be long.”
/// Since King Gustav was far from a prig,
he selected the guy for this gig.
Seen first time with no clothes
is the youth Gustav chose.
“I don’t get it— his hands are so big!”
/// This model shares the same “affliction,”
as the Florentine David’s depiction.
Michelangelo’s prize
valued art over size,
but it still looks like a malediction.
/// The nude model had never been sadder,
for the King could not be any madder.
Gustav’s close-up inspection
(and a recent infection)
made the lad lose control of his bladder.