Friedrich Horschelt, German
When Your Neighbors’ Remodeling Crew Starts With the Power Drills at 6 in the F*ing Morning, 1853
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Hero Theseus, trapped in a maze
(where, on victims, the Minotaur preys),
by Ariadne was saved,
but he then misbehaved
and defied all romantic clichés.
// Ariadne on Naxos was left
by her Theseus. She was bereft.
Dionysus laid claim
to the half-naked dame.
Was she “won” by compassion or theft?
/// Some have said Dionysus, (a god),
lusted after the young lady’s bod.
He made Theseus leave,
(so these sources believe).
Was her Theseus hero, or fraud?
/// Why, she wondered, would Theseus pull
o’er her eyes the proverbial wool?
Yet, it was no surprise
for a man to tell lies.
Ariadne’s half-brother? Half bull.
/// Poor Pasiphaë may have been bored,
or by Minos, her husband, ignored,
but, with lust she was full
for the fierce Cretan Bull.
She arranged to be (so to speak) gored.
/// Were those “beastly” tastes shared by her daughter?
Who, in Naxos, now waits by the water.
And who may, like her mother,
lust for bulls… Not her brother!
(He’s the brute she helped Theseus slaughter!)