Ralph Hedley, English
“Gosh Darn It. I Guess That Instruction Manual Must Have Been In Feet, Not Inches,” 1896
Oil on canvas
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/// In this painting we see The Invention
of the Lifeboat, although there’s contention.
The inventor, (he claimed),
was this man oddly named
“Willie Wouldhave.” It’s open to question.
/// A ship sank in a storm. The crew died.
So a contest in South Shields was tried,
to produce a small boat
which in rough seas could float
and a safe means of rescue provide.
/// Here’s a model of what Will designed,
but the contest committee would find
that the winner should be
a new craft based on three
different lifeboat inventions combined.
/// To split the prize, Wouldhave refused,
though some work by H. Greathead was used.
The road both of them paved
led to countless lives saved,
(and their names today keep us amused).
/// Willie Wouldhave Greathead, if he could,
but his head was crammed with thoughts of wood.
Each a shipbuilding dork,
they used panels of cork.
Lukin knew heavy boats were no good.