William-Adolphe Bouguereau, French
Never You Mind What I’m Wearing. How Did You Get This Number?, 1885
Oil on canvas
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/// There was nobody shy as Michèle,
but she’s posing here au naturel.
Seems she said, “What the hell—
I look good; may as well.
It’s past time I came out of my shell.”
/// She was told that the sea she would hear
if she held a shell up to her ear.
The waves sounded so real
she was seized by the zeal
to strip down and go swimming right here.
/// The close sound of a large crashing wave
somehow made Michèle suddenly brave.
One straight edge of her shell
she now sharpened quite well,
and she uses this new tool to shave.
/// Nude with shell by the sea. Early morn.
Michèle thought of when Venus was born.
In that painting, long hair
covered Venus “down there,”
but Michèle’s locks were recently shorn.
/// Botticelli showed beauty divine.
Michèle knows that the goddess is fine.
“But if I’d been with Venus,
and some wise men had seen us,
they’d agree the best body is mine.”
/// Weight she lost when she lifted weights nude
cannot make up for weight gained from food.
But she did slim her waist
every time that she raced
for her life when by voyeurs pursued.