Category: Uncategorized

John William Godward, English

“I Learned How To Sculpt This Clay From the Genius Who Invented It. His Name Was Plato. I Don’t Know What He Wound Up Calling the Clay,” 1922

Oil on canvas

Vincent van Gogh, Dutch

Great Moments in Phallic Billiard Table Arrangements, 1888

Oil on canvas

Constantin Hansen, Danish

Eccentric Classical Composer Nudwig van Butthoven, ca. 1826-27

Oil on canvas

John William Godward, English

“Me?! What Are You Talking About? You’re the One Who Keeps Coming In Too Early,” 1918

Oil on canvas

Albert Edelfelt, Finnish

“I Told Him I Was Done Sneaking Around and That He Had To Tell His Wife About Us. And Well, He Still Won’t Budge on That, But He Did At Least Agree To Tell His Other Mistress. Baby Steps, Right?” 1884

Oil on canvas

Gerard van Honthorst, Dutch

“You Think YOUR Driver’s License Photo Is Embarrassing? Check This Guy’s Out,” 1625

Oil on canvas

Artist Unknown (Copy of Painting by Paul Fischer, Danish)

“Well, I Guess Now We Know Why Those Swimsuits Were Half-Price. Next Time Let’s Make Sure To Check the Tags For the Words ‘Water-Soluble,'” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Johann Baptist Reiter, Austrian

“Excuse Me, Ma’am. Ma’am, Wake Up! You Can’t Sleep In Here. This Is An IKEA,” 1849

Oil on canvas

Otto Henry Bacher, American

Lady Mary Hollander, Still Pissed About That Questionable Line Call in the Second Set, 1891

Oil on canvas

John Singleton Copley, Anglo-American

Goldilocks Posing in Papa Bear’s Chair at the 75th Anniversary Celebration, 1764

Oil on canvas