Category: Uncategorized

Erik Werenskiold, Norwegian

After Waiting Until the Last Minute To Ask a Girl To Prom, Josh Was Forced To Go With His Social Studies Teacher, Between 1906-09

Oil on canvas

Eugenio Zampighi, Italian

It Was Always an Exciting Day When Mildred and Stanley’s “Sex Toy of the Month Club” Shipment Arrived, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Artist Unkown, French

“Hey, You’re Not a Bad Painter, For a Girl. I’m Gonna Start Calling You Chick-asso,” 1790

Oil on canvas

Jan Miense-Molenaer, Dutch

When Cyrus Told People His Wife Was a Real Knockout, Technically He Wasn’t Lying, 1637

Oil on panel

Unknown Artist, Austrian

“Oh, I’m Sorry. I Thought You Said That Whenever You Paint a Minor, There Needs To Be a PARROT in the Room,” ca. 1840

Oil on canvas

James H. Cafferty, American

“Shoot, I Can’t Remember. Is It ‘I Long For the Sight of Thy Fulsome Bosom’ or ‘I Long For the Sight of THINE Fulsome Bosom?,'” 1852

Oil on panel

Louis Moritz, Dutch

“A Strong Blow To This Part of the Head Will Generally Incapacitate an Attacker. Or You Could Always Just Kick Him in the Ol’ Grundlecharms,” ca. 1810

Oil on panel

Bartholomeus van der Helst, Dutch

“I’m Warning You, This Portrait Better Not Make Me Look Heavy. And Don’t Give Me That Crap About the Canvas Adding 10 Pounds,” 1642

Oil on panel

Julius Paulsen, Danish

Best. Party. Ever., 1915

Oil on canvas

Julius Paulsen, Danish

When the Portrait Artist Took His Lunch Break, Agnes Would Sneak In and Paint Penises on the Faces, 1886

Oil on canvas