Author: Steve Melcher

Edward Hopper, American

“Sorry For the Delay On Those Burgers, Folks. We’re Usually Not This Slammed,” 1942

Oil on canvas

Charles March Gere, English

“Rock Made a Tactical Error. He Should Have Forced Smith To Go To His Backhand,” 1900

Oil on canvas

L.A. Marsano, Italian

Forgetful Suitor Trying To Remember Which Is His Girlfriend and Which Is His Sister, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Peter Paul Rubens, Flemish

The Favorite in This Year’s “Best Supporting” Category, 1622-25

Oil on oak wood

Rembrandt Peale, American

He’d Had a String of Disastrous Relationships With Rose, Lily, and Fern, But the Botanist Was Confident That Things Would Go Better With Geri, 1801

Oil on canvas

Gerhard Munthe, Norwegian

“Frankly, I’m Not Surprised You Haven’t Treed Any Squirrels Yet Today. You’re Too Much in Your Own Head. Remember, You Don’t Have Time To Think Out There, Rusty. Just React,” 1886

Oil on canvas

Constantin Hansen, Danish

“Yeah, I Don’t Know What a ‘Heaving Bosom’ Is Either. Or a Stable Boy’s ‘Manhood.’ Maybe We Should Put This Back Before Mommy Catches Us Reading It,” 1826

Oil on canvas

Ferdinand Heilbuth, German

“Please Don’t Touch Any of the Ruins, Folks. We Wouldn’t Want To Damage Them. And Yes, I Realize How Stupid That Sounds,” ca. 1873-75

Oil on canvas