Author: Steve Melcher

Wilhelm Marstrand, Danish

Niels Liked To Kick Off the Art Museum Board Meetings With a Little Air Guitar, 1868

Oil on canvas

Clara Murray Hawkes, English

Young Queen Victoria, Seriously Considering Getting a Neck Tattoo, Before 1930

Oil on canvas

Henry Richard Graves, English

“Great Moments In Phallic Portraiture: Outdoorsman Edition,” 1871

Oil on canvas

Rembrandt van Rijn, Dutch

Portrait of Man With Blobfish on Head, 1632

Oil on canvas

Antoine Vestier, French

What Really Annoyed Jacques About His Neighbors’ New McMansion Was It Meant He Couldn’t Sunbathe Nude on His Deck Anymore, 1789

Oil on canvas

Henri Jules Jean Geoffroy, French

Back When Obstetricians Used To Charge By the Pound, 1903

Oil on canvas

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

“Be Careful When You Get Out, Rachel. I Just Stepped in a Huge Pile of Camel Crap Over By the Snack Bar,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

John Opie, English

“The IRS’s Letter Is Pretty Clear, Sir. It Appears You Can NOT Deduct Your Trophy Wife As a ‘Depreciating Asset,'” 1802

Oil on canvas