Marguerite Gérard, French
“According To Your Husband’s Letter, He Was Currently Sailing Right Around Here, Off the Coast of Morocco. Taking Into Consideration the Tides and the Prevailing Winds This Time of Year, We Can Calculate His Return Within a Fortnight. Or You Can Just Check His Location on Your Phone,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
Gerard ter Borch, Dutch
“My Apologies For Buster Sniffing at Your Crotch. He’s Part Wiener Dog,” ca. 1658-59
Oil on canvas
Eugene de Blaas, Italian
What Kids Used Their Thumbs For Before Texting, 1883
Oil on cradled panel
Édouard Manet, French
“No, I’m Actually Not the Monopoly Guy, But I Get That a Lot,” 1880
Oil on canvas
Eugen Felix, Austrian
If “Succession” Was On Nickelodeon, 1892
Oil on canvas
Nils Dardel, Swedish
“I Hear You, and I Don’t Doubt That You Could Knock Down Those Pins By Throwing Your Feces, But in Bowling, You Have To Roll the Ball,” 1922
Oil on canvas
Halfdan Egedius, Norwegian
“Yes, I Understand That It’s Occasionally Necessary To Disrobe When You Go To the Doctor. But in My Experience, Usually Not at the Optometrist,” 1896
Oil on canvas
Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot, French
Sir Reginald, With That Weird Face He Always Makes When He’s Peeing in His Suit of Armor, ca. 1868-1870
Oil on canvas
Enoch Wood Perry, Jr., American
As An Inventor, Colin’s Motto Was “Bigger Is Better.” As Evidenced By His New Letter Opener, 1891
Oil on canvas
Edwin Hughes, English
“No, I Don’t Believe You DID Mention That You Were a Vegetarian, Before I Spent 7 Hours Making This Roast. But I Agree It’s Hilarious,” 1877
Oil on canvas
