Author: Steve Melcher

 

Gustave Moreau, French

“Hi, Have You Considered Cat Adoption? Don’t Worry — I’m Hypoallergenic. Though As You Probably Just Noticed, Not De-Clawed,” 1864

Oil on canvas

Rudolf Koller, Swiss

Young Boy Lying On Near His Ass, 1854

Oil on canvas

Edgar Degas, French

“See? You Just Pinch This Nerve Back Here and They Black Out Immediately. Something To Remember If You Ever Wrestle Professionally,” 1881

Pastel on five pieces of wove paper, backed with paper, and laid down on canvas

 

Leon-Jean-Bazille Perrault, French

Phoebe From “Friends,” Age 3 (With Smelly Cat), 1867

Oil on canvas

 

Peter Paul Rubens, Flemish

“Honey, When I Said To Bring Home Some Boar’s Head, I Meant a Half-Pound of Their Maple Honey Turkey,” ca. 1616

Oil on panel

 

Artist Unknown, Italian

Portrait of a Man in a Fur-Trimmed Coat (With Angry Note PETA Left On His Windshield), ca. 1540

Oil on canvas

Laurent de La Hyre, French

If Modigliani Painted Guitars, 1649

Oil on canvas

 

François Marius Granet, French

“So Here’s the Plan: We Break Out At Midnight, Head For the Docks, and Catch the First Ship Out of Port. The Guard Will Never Know What Hit Him.”

*Awkward Silence

“He’s Standing Right Behind Me, Isn’t He?,” 1810

Oil on canvas

Alfred Stevens, Belgian

The Artist Wanted Cecily To Take Her Top Off, But She Refused To Do Nudity. And So the Awkward Stand-Off Dragged On For a Fifth Day, 1888

Oil on canvas

 

Tommaso Lunetti, Italian

Chuck, Originator of the “Pull My Finger” Gag, 1521

Oil on panel