Author: Steve Melcher

Anne-Louis Girodet de Roussy-Trioson, French

“You Know, You Don’t Need To Blow That Thing To Call For a Winged Chariot Anymore. They Have An App Now,” ca. 1814

Oil on canvas 

 

Barthel Beham, German

When You Tell the Rental Car Agent You Want To Talk To His Supervisor and He Says She’s At Lunch, 1527

Oil on spruce

Francesco Hayez, Italian

“Relax, Babe. Sure, I Deserted From the Army, But It’ll Be Weeks Before They Come Looking For Me. I’ll Bet You a Hundred Bucks They Haven’t Even Noticed I’m Gone,” 1812-13

Oil on canvas

 

Giuseppe Patania, Italian

“Oh Good, You’re Here — I Was Just Writing You a Note. I Helped Myself To One of Your Curtains Because My Pants Are In the Dryer,” 1812

Oil on canvas

 

Adriaan de Lelie, Dutch

Cornelius Always Got the Same Expression On His Face When He Heard About One of His Business Rivals’ Failures, Or the Seat Warmers Came On, 1815

Oil on canvas

Wilhelm Koller, Austrian

“I’m Sorry, Folks. I’m Afraid Kayla’s Preschool Class Is Completely Filled. But I Can Put You On the Waitlist For a Small Deposit.”

“How Much?”

“Whatever You Can Afford. Either a New Gym or a New Cafeteria,” ca. 1872

Oil on wood

 

Frans Hals, Dutch

Man Threatening To Backhand You For Asking If They Make That Collar in Men’s Sizes Too, 1625

Oil on canvas

 

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

Whenever Gustave Finished a Sculpture, He Always Made Sure To Date It, 1890

Oil on canvas

 

Thomas Gainsborough, British

Mozart’s Roommate Wishing He and His Girlfriend Would Keep It a Little More Pianissimo In There, ca. 1780

Oil on canvas

William McGregor Paxton, American

“Aquaman! What the Hell?! Don’t You Ever Knock?,” 1937

Oil on canvas