Author: Steve Melcher

Johann Heinrich Kosakowsky, Russian

As He Sat Down in the Bathroom Stall, Ed Suddenly Realized That the Only Thing Worse Than a Cold Toilet Seat Is a Warm One, 1877

Oil on canvas 

Workshop of Guercino, Italian

Portrait of the Famed Renaissance Artist Cléavaggio, ca. 1630-66

Oil on canvas

Jan Veth, Dutch

Unfortunately, the Sisters’ Lactose Intolerance Was So Severe They Couldn’t Even Say Cheese, 1885

Oil on canvas

Laurits Andersen Ring, Danish

Happy 20th Anniversary, Hairy Potter!, 1890

Oil on canvas

Stanislav Feikl, Czechoslovak

“Hmm. I’ve Put On My Dress, Done My Hair, and Picked Out My Jewelry. But Darn It, I Feel Like I’m Forgetting Something,” 1925

Oil on canvas

Kuzma Petrov-Vodkin, Russian

“Okay, Now We’re Tied 1 To 1, and It’s Your Turn to Ask Me a Trivia Question. But This Time If I Get It Wrong, I Have To Take Off My Shirt,” 1935

Oil on canvas

Silvio Fernández Rodríguez-Bastos, Spanish

“No, the Pizza’s Fine, Honey. I’m Just Still Trying To Figure Out How That Domino’s Guy Got It Here in 30 Minutes,” 1890

Oil on canvas

Franz von Stuck, German

Mara Had Hoped She and Her Date Might Find an Emotional Connection, But This Creep Was Nakedly Just Looking For a Little Tail, 1891

Oil on panel