Josef Munsch, Austrian
“Excuse Me, Gentlemen. We’re Here To Negotiate an Alliance Between Our Kingdoms. So Do I Have Your Attention, or Am I Going To Have To Turn Off the Knicks Game?,” 1860
Oil on canvas
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/// At Rudolstadt Castle, the Duke
of Alba, (not easy to spook),
had sent word to his foe
that to breakfast they’d go.
What she served him instead was rebuke.
/// To end wars, foes negotiate deals.
There are rules in place during appeals.
Spain was not playing fair,
killing cattle near there.
Katharina then halted their meals.
/// In the Countess of Schwarzburg’s own Schloss,
Alba thought he could act like her boss.
He was ruthless in Spain,
but right here didn’t reign.
Katharina would not accept loss.
/// Armed guards stood at her side. The doors locked,
she told Alba all exits were blocked.
What Spain did wasn’t right—
during talks, pause the fight.
“Your blood for our oxblood,” Countess mocked.
/// With no chance to prevail if they fought,
the Duke gave in and did what he ought.
Signed an order which said
they’d replace what was dead.
The Duke’s honor, it seemed, could be bought.
/// That tall man dressed in red with a beard
that is forked, has a face to be feared.
His disguise doomed to fail;
(she caught sight of his tail
and his sulfurous odor is weird).