Andrea Soldi, Italian
“Why Yes, It IS a Self-Portrait. Why Does Everyone Laugh When I Say That?,” 1753
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3692
/// Sculptor Rysbrack here indicates he’s
carving marble to form Hercules.
For small models he’s gotta
work in cheap terra-cotta.
Even dudes buy male nudes jacked like these.
/// In a “Hercules,” buyers expect
the huge muscles John worked to perfect.
Has a strong bearded face;
wields a huge wooden mace,
which Herc holds as he stands there erect.
/// His symbolic club often is used
to get art-lovers oddly enthused.
Its shape, girth and length
stand for masculine strength,
(though a few smirking men are amused).
/// One more symbol most sculptors include
is a lion’s skin. Placement is shrewd.
They do not drape the pelt
from his waist, like a belt.
Herc must wear it, but still be seen nude.
/// Sculptures of hyper-muscular bods
sell quite well indeed— what are the odds?
To this day many buy
“action figures.” Here’s why:
Super heroes are our demigods.
/// When I checked on my sculpture today
I saw damage, and someone must pay.
A vandal has fiddled,
(by that I mean diddled);
rubbed it so hard some parts wore away!