Edmund Blair Leighton, English
“To Be Honest, Sir, I’ve Never Heard of Hot Wings OR Jalapeño Poppers, But I’ll See What the Chef Can Do,” 1881
Oil on board
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at another blog entry.
/// These two Interesting Strangers are seated
in the Inn. By their waiter they’re greeted.
A foul rumor has spread
that the pair aren’t wed,
which the three men in back have repeated.
/// In respectable rooms it’s not right
that a couple like that spend the night.
At their fingers, snoops stare;
not one wedding ring there.
Thoughts of sin make wild passions ignite.
/// If it’s true she’s a Miss, (not a Mrs.),
the three gossips are hoping that this is
a good time for them each
to reach out and beseech
the young floozy to sell them her “kisses.”
/// They both share the same last name, McTeer,
yet the strangers are single, it’s clear.
They’re addressed “Miss” and “Mister,”
for the Miss is his sister,
(but no incest is happening here).
/// Saving money, they sleep in one room,
but you’re wrong if you rashly assume
that they share the same bed.
The couch suits him, instead.
And, besides, he’s gay— (smell his perfume).
/// The McTeer siblings, Percy and Mabel,
told the waiter who came to their table,
“We’ll have veggies and beef,
(both boiled beyond belief),
and some steamed pudding, too, if you’re able.”
/// The three gossips approach her… one wavers.
Then the other two ask for her favors.
With a horrified frown,
she turns both of them down.
And the third? It’s the brother he savors.
/// (There are endless distinct types of vice;
most folks know at least one they find nice.
Those who practice incest
face disgrace and arrest,
so avoid kissin’ kin’s my advice.)