Amedeo Modigliani, Italian
“I Just Got My 23 and Me Results Back. Turns Out I’m 60% Italian and 40% Giraffe,” 1917
Oil on canvas
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/// The Café Singer belts out each song
in a voice that is low-pitched and strong.
People are amazed when
she sings deeper than men
due to vocal cords ten inches long.
/// She has practiced to keep her sound mellow
and control her old impulse to bellow.
She comes naturally
to the music world. (She
looks, in silhouette, just like a cello.)
/// Her new boyfriend has left her a wreck.
He will kiss her, but only a peck.
She’s depressed ‘cause she thinks
that he has a few kinks:
Won’t make love, the guy just wants to neck.
/// To explain why she radiates dread,
and has shoulders so far from her head,
here’s the unvarnished truth:
She was hanged, in her youth,
by the neck, but reprieved before dead.
/// When I stare (as one must) at her neck,
I can’t help but exclaim, “What the heck!
Plastic surgery’s arts
can reshape body parts–
merely write him a big enough cheque!”