J.A.G. Acke, Swedish
“The Kids At School Are All Calling Me Names. What’s a ‘Nepo Baby?,'” 1881
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3573
“King Gustav Vasa of Sweden being introduced to King Hans,” by J.A.G Acke
Having failed to learn much about the event pictured here when this same painting appeared with a different caption last May 13th, (other than reading that that this meeting never actually took place), I decided to invent a story to tell.
/// Hans, the monarch who sits on the throne
has no male royal heir of his own.
Here he’s holding auditions
for pre-teenage patricians
to take over the job when they’re grown.
/// Gustav Vasa believes he’s the one
who’ll be chosen when tryouts are done.
As a pure-blooded Swede,
he knows what will succeed:
Look the part, because blonds have more fun.
/// There’s another thing Gus understands.
There’s a ruthlessness kingship demands.
Those two boys next in line,
on the playground do fine,
but with rivals one shouldn’t hold hands.