Jean-Jules-Antoine Lecomte du Nouÿ, French
“You Know, He Hasn’t Summoned One of Us Concubines in Over 3 Days Now. I’m Starting To Wonder If Maybe We’ve Been Replaced By AI,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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/// Ramsès sits In His Harem. They’re bored.
At least one of his concubines snored.
He comes here to unwind;
work not body, but mind.
Playing board games is how Pharaoh scored.
/// To retain their smooth, youthful, pale skin,
Pharoah’s concubines shelter within
structures out of the sun,
but they still have no fun
because Ramsès plays board games to win.
/// Don’t be fooled, Egypt’s King is all man.
(He’s the muscular one with a tan.)
The wife baring her hips
gives him eye-liner tips,
but of lovemaking? Not a big fan.
/// Why does Ramsès not take them to bed?
Was this not how new Pharaohs were bred?
Custom called for his spouse
to be born in his house.
At least five of his daughters, he wed.
/// With eleven wives, he need not wait
should a sudden surge urge him to mate.
Pharaoh’s favorite one
birthed the King’s eldest son,
and she nicknamed him “Ramses the Great.”