Jan Mijtens, Dutch
“I Know, I Know. But What Do You Want Me To Do? My Girlfriend Picked It Out,” 1661
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3440
Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived, if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here (click Biography), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// For this portrait the Colonel will pose
in his manliest armor. He chose
tight black leather and steel.
Underneath, for the feel
next to flesh, silken undies with bows.
/// J. van Beaumont of the Holland guard
fought in battles, but hasn’t been scarred.
Armor keeps Johan safe;
silk ensures he won’t chafe.
He’s a softie who tries to look hard.
/// He Commands the whole town of Den Briel,
so he takes care to never reveal
his odd cross-dressing yen.
Wouldn’t do for his men
to view panties his armors conceal.