MASTERPIECE #3400

G.F. Gilman, American

The Marlboro Man, Back When He Was Known As the Marlboro Douchebag, 1875

Illustration

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mabrndt
mabrndt
7 days ago

Though that name appears with several illustrations around that time, mainly related to United States history, I could find no online information about him/her, including a Wikipedia page in any language, currently.

Last edited 7 days ago by mabrndt
Solstice*1947
Solstice*1947
6 days ago

/// Little Willie is impish and crass.
Puffs his pipe in the face of this lass.
He could blow the smoke down,
but this mischievous clown
wants to be blowing smoke up… harass.

/// Willie perched next to Ginny and teased.
He said “How Do You Like It?” and wheezed.
As he, next to her, squeezed
she seems secretly pleased,
but next moment in his face she sneezed.

/// He was trying to taunt and provoke
when he exhaled a lung-full of smoke.
Willie’s juvenile joke
caused young Ginny to choke.
When she spoke it came out as a croak.

/// Yet, the blend of tobaccos he chose
had a pleasing affect on her nose.
This pipe, smelled from afar,
(unlike Papa’s cigar),
has a sweet scent which, on Ginny, grows.

/// That’s how Willie’s addiction began,
as a prank with no follow-up plan.
It was said to them both:
smoking stunts a child’s growth,
yet he grew to a six-foot-tall man.

/// When at fifty he died, (fairly young),
it was not a disease of the lung
which cut short Willie’s life.
Just ask Ginny, his wife.
He succumbed to a cancerous tongue.

/// Although Willie died early from cancer,
it’s their life, not his death that’s the answer
to the rapture they’d find.
He was generous, kind,
funny, wise, and each day he’d romance her.

/// All their children and grandkids revered
“Papa Will” for his rizz that endeared.
Ginny married again
to the nicest of men.
At their wedding her whole family cheered!

Last edited 6 days ago by Solstice*1947
Solstice*1947
Solstice*1947
6 days ago

/// There’s a weed which he plucked from the dirt,
and then cut up and dried to convert
it to something that burned,
but in time Willie learned
that it made him less high than inert.

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