Thomas de Keyser, Dutch
Derek and His Pub Trivia Teammates Had Hoped To Intimidate Their Opponents With Their Matching Uniforms, But It Soon Became Clear It Had the Opposite Effect, 1627
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// These four Syndics of the Goldsmiths’ Guild
are, in Amsterdam, suitably skilled
to judge whether what’s sold
is of pure, solid gold,
or just plated, or maybe gold-filled.
/// They use acid tests, also new-fangled
ways to gauge gold chains by how they jangled.
Is some jewelry they hold
twenty-four karat gold?
(To find out it must be disentangled.)
/// Some seek syndics to survey and settle
whether what they own is precious metal.
Then they must face the facts:
If a magnet attracts
it, the owner won’t be in fine fettle.
/// Always facial hair, often vandyke
(where his beard has a point like a spike).
All wear ruffs and black suits
despite varied pursuits.
Did all Dutchmen back then look alike?
/// Subtle differences serve as a start
in the effort to tell them apart.
This strict uniform dressing
kept myopic wives guessing
as to whom she had given her heart.