Franz Müller-Münster, German
Scene From the Classic Clothing-Optional Western,”Butts Cassidy and the No Pants Kid,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Info about this artist can be found here (Google translated if necessary). He currently has no Wikipedia page in any language.
Even if the here link fails to show info about him, the translated link may still work.
/// On their horses, through surf they are gliding.
Their ripped bodies they haven’t tried hiding.
They each took, we can see,
far too literally
what it means to go out bareback riding.
/// Two men work at controlling four steeds.
(That’s one more horse than either one needs.)
Is it fair to surmise
there were two other guys
who fell off riding at reckless speeds?
/// While unclothed the two men may feel bolder.
(Unlike horses, they also feel colder.)
They might lose their composure,
since “indecent exposure”
lies within the eye of the beholder.
/// Clearly, neither nude man is afraid
to go riding with privates displayed.
But each chose, (to be fair),
to have mounted a mare,
so there’ll be no comparisons made.
/// Were they mounted on stallions they’d fear
that observers might furtively peer.
WARNING– don’t trust your eyes
about relative size:
“Objects are larger than they appear.”
/// In the distance, an onlooker’s leering.
Both nude horsemen can hear his voice jeering.
Reining the Rearing Horse,
Ernst caught comments quite coarse:
“So, which one of you gays does the rearing?”
/// Ernst, (the one on the gold palomino),
bragged he’d dated “the Sheik,” Valentino.
His nude riding pal, Gino,
(drunk on very cheap vino),
expressed doubts, but Ernst thought, “What does he know?”
/// These two riders with confidence straddle
their bold horses, not using a saddle.
There’s a risk, it is safe
to assume, they will chafe.
Sore— as though they’d been spanked with a paddle.
/// The rough bouncing, when horses run fast,
hit their delicate sacks like a blast.
Without gonad support,
pain brought both men up short.
They’re embarrassed, both of ‘em bare-assed.
/// Felt like guts were all tied up in knots,
and in front of their eyes they saw spots.
Equine motion accruals to the family jewels
can induce a bad case of the trots.
/// Scrotal burning’s not something for hiding
from your doctor. You should be providing
information concerning
where and how much it’s burning,
and most vitally, who you were riding.
/// They had gone to the mountain last year,
but their wives thought their friendship was queer.
So they’ve come to the sea
(one more back-breaking spree)
with no spouses who might interfere.
> or <
/// The first thing their instructors would teach
about riding while nude on a beach
is: ride into the sea
to rinse sand off and be
soothed as high as the water can reach.