William Henry Lippincott, American
As Edwin Would Later Tell the Police, It Was Only AFTER He Had Discharged His Stun Gun That He Remembered That Lily Was Going To Be in Town For the Weekend, 1890
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Google translated German Wikipedia page.
/// When the two lovers play Hide and Seek,
their rules state it is OK to sneak.
Past the doorway he’ll find
she’d been hiding behind
when, to heighten Love’s Ambush, she’ll shriek.
/// The girl’s high-pitched screech could make glass shatter.
From the shock he fell back with a clatter.
He now knew a huge shocker:
she was off of her rocker.
Fright had just made him empty his bladder.
/// When Miranda suggested this game,
she implied it was playful and tame.
In this dimly lit place,
Ambrose thought they’d embrace.
Falling down with wet pants? Not the same.
/// With embarrassment, Ambrose arose.
Then Miranda’s said, “Take off those clothes.
Hang your pants by the fire.
In a while they’ll be drier.
Until then, why don’t we juxtapose?”
/// She told Ambrose that she’d climb the stair
to the bedroom, then he’d join her there.
To atone for his fright
she’d stay with him that night—
that her innermost secrets she’d share.
/// At the doorway, he poked in his head.
The dark bedroom filled Ambrose with dread,
but he slipped ‘neath the cover,
reaching out, “Where’s my lover?”
Then a screech came from under the bed!
/// For this second fright he’d not prepared,
and, if anything, he was more scared.
But his bladder’d been drained
and, no urine, contained,
so the bedsheets, at least, had been spared.
/// From beneath the bed she was soon yanked
by fierce Ambrose, who loathed being pranked.
This had all been her plan—
to enrage her shy man,
for Miranda enjoyed being spanked.
/// As James rocked, Jane upon his lap curled,
then abruptly, to face him she whirled.
In their strong rocking chair,
(from the waist down, both bare),
Jane, his innocent wife, rocked his world.