Bartolomeo Passarotti, Italian
“It Keeps Pigeons From Landing on My Head. Why? Does It Look Weird?,” ca. 1580
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Here, provided for your information,
is a Latin to English translation
of the text underneath
that guy with the spiked wreath,
(plus some extra words of explanation):
/// “In his sixties, (fourteenth year of reign),
with sharp golden blades ringing his brain,
the great Cæsar Augustus,
Claudius met with “justice,”
when by poison removed (in great pain).”
/// The way Claude’s rule of Rome first began,
was Prætorian Guards with a plan:
Kill “Li’l Boot” then replace
with a cipher (“blank” face).
Thus, Claude reigns— the invisible man!
/// There are better ways to keep your crown
than to lit’rally nail the thing down.
Once, while crossing an Alp,
it dug into his scalp
and blood ran down the folds of his frown.
/// Agrippina, his wife, some declare,
had planned murdering him with great care.
Poison was her “Plan B”
after “A” failed when he
saw his crown which she’d placed on his chair.
/// Why was Claudius killed, was he hated?
Some today think he was underrated.
His wife murdered her “hero”
to advance her son, Nero,
who, to Claudius, wasn’t related.
/// It’s instructive how often the lives
of great rulers were “snuffed” by their wives.
Often Kings shopped around
for their Queens, for they’d found
that a King who divorces, survives.