Edouard Quitton, Belgian
“So Were You Ever Planning To Tell Your Mother and Me You Were Stripping? Or Were You Just Going To Wait Until We Opened This W-2?,” 1884
Oil on oak
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/// Both her parents suspected that Claire
had been having a torrid affair.
In distress and despair
they confronted their heir.
Searched her rooms— proof was hidden somewhere.
/// Her attempt to conceal it was shoddy.
Her first love letter, written by Roddy,
a depraved, married cad.
Her folks knew this was bad;
Rod revealed where he’d hid his wife’s body.
/// Claire’d considered her folks as “straight-shooters,”
but she now called them “dastardly looters.”
They stole Rod’s billet-doux.
If they searched more, Claire knew
they’d find notes from her other six suitors.
/// She seemed shy, but in truth Claire had moxie.
She ensnared pliant men as their doxy.
She supplied them with knives.
Made them murder their wives.
Claire’s a serial-killer by proxy.
/// “This vile letter is proof you’re a sinner.
And have been for some time— no beginner.”
More than sin, Father loathes
wearing casual clothes
after six, so they all change for dinner.