Vittorio Reggianini, Italian
“Dearest, Would You Mind Terribly If I Joined Your Sisters To Watch the End of the Cowboys-Niners Game? We Can Always Pick Up This Proposal Tomorrow,” Before 1938
Oil on canvas
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Info about this artist can be found in my comment at an earlier blog entry.
“For a small-breasted girl, Serafina, you’re really quite interesting..”
Three sisters (there may have been four)
Found they just couldn’t take any more/
Of the flatterer’s blather
And so they chose rather/
To hire a helpful wh0re..
The wh0re was as deaf as a stump,
(Though she had a magnificent rump !)
Things might have been great
Had he not learned (though late)
That the harlot had voted for Tr*mp !
The suitor was taken aback
In spite of her glorious rack.
He could just not surmount
The Committee’s account
Of the January 6 attack.
And that is the end of the story:
A classic, both ancient and hoary
Which a painter enshrined
For an audience refined
And if you don’t like it I’m sorry.
/// Her young swain swears his great Admiration
for the way she resists all temptation.
Since they all dress in satin,
it would show, should she fatten,
but her goal’s intermittent starvation.
/// Man and maid cannot be left alone.
Her two sisters, and Mom, chaperone.
But, engaged in inspections
of their smiling reflections,
they don’t notice a soft sigh or moan.
/// She inquires of her beau, “Sir, your hound—
is he purebred or dog from the pound?”
Then Mama heard a snippet
of words sounding like “whip it.“
Before “out.” In the mirror she frowned.
/// Now Mama sees the hound walk her way
and knows just what she’d heard the man say.
He had asked, beyond doubt,
“Who let my whippet out?”
(It was let out by Marc, the valet.)
/// Though these chambers were well-cleaned today,
underneath each fresh floral display
fallen petals and blooms
add perfume to the rooms.
(They’ll be swept up into a sachet.)
/// These four women, like those of their ilk,
prefer drinking fine wine over milk.
Does this handsome young bach-
-elor make a good match?
Yes; his clothes are all made of pure silk.
/// He was frightened of girls— truly craven.
With him, even tarts ain’t misbehavin’.
Then he purchased that hound;
the results were profound.
That bitch hounded his dates ‘til they gave in.
/// He’d trained Nera, his dog, to locate
pretty girls who’d be options to date.
Nera knew the man’s tastes:
curvy hips, tiny waists,
and an uncontrolled passion to mate.