Joaquín Sorolla, Spanish
“Aren’t You Glad We Got Here Early? It’s Always So Crowded At These Pre-Holiday Sails,” 1896
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here (note: URL starts with http:, not https:), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Spanish Wikipedia page has more).
/// Seven people are Sewing the Sail
into clothing that’s massive in scale.
A ship’s captain in Spain
made his bride’s gown and train
from a spinnaker. (Bride was a whale.)
/// The obese sometimes end up bereft,
but this skipper liked gals with some heft.
When his dinghy dropped anchor,
his choice: dock with a tanker—
someone worthy of spinnaker theft.
/// The amount of fine lace she’d have needed
for a gown would have greatly exceeded
what the Cap could afford.
He had sailors on board.
“Bring me canvas,” the groom-to-be pleaded.
/// Although rough and thick, sailcloth is white.
Both the gown and long train looked all right.
But the veil was opaque
forcing bridegroom to make
two round eyeholes restoring her sight.
/// The bride asked for a train which would reach
from the altar straight down to the beach.
Longer than Princess Di’s,
(attached by fishhook ties),
and kept white by Spain’s sun without bleach.
/// She had wanted to walk down the aisle
in the best matrimonial style,
but her butt was too wide
to march down side-by-side,
so they all had to go single file.