William Mosman, Scottish
Jack Found That Having an Armed Caddy Tended To Discourage Complaints About His Liberal Scorekeeping, 1749
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links to more info, about this artist can be found here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Google translated Italian Wikipedia page.
/// The Macdonald boys pose on the links.
James’ club is too long, Alex thinks.
For this hole his score’s thirty.
Meanwhile, Al got a birdie;
(with six shots ‘cause his riflery stinks).
/// Neither brother is keeping the score.
They think “All’s Fair in Golf and in War.”
When James swings at that ball
Alexander will fall;
he does not know the meaning of “fore.”
/// James has leggings, while Al wears a kilt.
James takes aim to make Al’s sporran tilt.
Their coats made from red bunting
are the right hue for hunting,
and you can’t tell when blood has been spilt.
/// These two overdressed tartan-clad tots,
play at golf taking two kinds of shots.
One coincidence galls:
they both aim at the balls,
(on view under the kilts worn by Scots).
/// After James took the shot with his wood,
Alex shook off the pain when he could.
He told James, “My turn now.”
Gripped his shootin’ iron. POW!
Sibling rivalry settled for good.
/// On the golf course it’s all games and fun
until someone trades clubs for a gun.
If a slowpoke or two
will not let you play through,
change their minds; shoot a big hole in one.
> or <
/// So… without a kilt, are sporrans worn?
We would need to ask folks Scottish-born.
The smaller kid— does he?
If not, it’s sure fuzzy.
He should look into having it shorn.
> or <
/// As long as the weave’s not too rough
you can make tartan sheets from the stuff.
If you don’t mind your bed
being checkered and red,
when you sleep, you can lay on MacDuff.