Le Prince, French
Tyler Was Now 22, But His Mom Still Insisted On Tying His Swords To His Wrist So He Wouldn’t Lose Them, 1830
Oil on canvas
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There was a French artist with that last name; but, he died before the sitter reached age 13; so, he didn’t paint this.
/// From his dress we can see he’s patrician;
doesn’t have rifle or ammunition.
But he wields the best sword
men of means could afford,
for his dream was to be a magician.
/// He envisioned a fabulous act:
A young woman crouched low and was packed
in a basket of wicker.
With the sword he would stick her
then she’d stand up uncut and intact.
/// But he’d had little chance to rehearse,
His assistants would quit with a curse.
The sword never thrust through
as he wanted it to,
and the girls always needed a nurse.
/// He stands now “entertaining” the troops.
(In the battle, he plays to both groups.)
His tall hat looks funny,
for it houses a bunny.
As his Basket Act ends he says, “Oops!”
/// François here sings an impromptu ballad,
calling most soldiers’ medals invalid.
“They’re for bragging rights solely.
I prefer my cannoli
to their chests crammed with gaudy fruit salad.”