Akseli Gallen-Kallela, Finnish
Woman I Found On One of Those MILF Websites (Moldovans I’d Like to Farm With), 1885
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Finnish Wikipedia page has more).
/// An Old Woman and (also) a Cat
are barefoot. The woman is fat.
With a scowl mean and crabby
she drops scraps to the tabby,
except cat food does not look like that.
/// The old woman looks witchlike and hateful.
While the cat doesn’t seem very grateful
for what he’s being fed.
Could it be he’d be dead
if he ate what she drops by the plateful?
/// While her left hand drops stuff on the ground,
see her right, on her gut, huge and round.
Is she pregnant? The rumor
is she’s growing a tumor.
(Having kids at her age would astound.)
/// Yet, perhaps she does not deserve scorn.
Is she ancient, or weathered and worn?
Her dark hair shows no gray.
Is a child on the way?
And she drops (for her crops) merely corn?
/// In the Bible, a great Matriarch,
whose great-grandfather rode on the Ark,
could give birth to a son
at a hundred and one,
so for her it’s a walk in the park!
/// Looks like barefoot and pregnant’s her fate,
and “with child” the crone’s belly is great.
Her gnarled feet are obscene;
so’s her face— both unclean.
(Or, it could just be something she ate.)