Hendrick Bloemaert, Dutch
“Yeah Yeah, To Get To the Other Side. You Told That One Yesterday. Don’t You Have Any Other Material?,” 1632
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Dutch Wikipedia page may have more).
/// Gramps was hoping his wife to abase.
Watch her fail and be “put in her place.”
She was egged on by him
to sell eggs (on a whim).
She earned money; there’s egg on his face!
/// Berte charged for the eggs by their size.
Jumbo ones with two yolks were the prize.
Cheaper bought by the dozen,
(on advice of her cousin).
Here, she judges its worth with her eyes.
/// “Trust me, eggs make a great shampoo, Miss.
Lovely hair attracts men and brings bliss.
Your hair’s roots must be fed.
I once starved mine instead.
With my scarf off, my head looks like this.”
/// I was forty but no man had chosen
to father my child, and supposin’
that I’d reach “change of life”
before being a wife,
I decided to have my eggs frozen.