Gustave Moreau, French
“Hi, Have You Considered Cat Adoption? Don’t Worry — I’m Hypoallergenic. Though As You Probably Just Noticed, Not De-Clawed,” 1864
Oil on canvas
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/// When Oedipus answered her riddle
the Sphinx sensed that later this kid’ll
be wed to his ma
(first killing his pa),
so she ceased, then, to diddle his middle.
/// The winged beast retracted her claws,
caressed the young Greek with her paws,
and employing her bust
to rekindle his lust,
proceeded to break several laws.
/// Kinky sex to Greek gods was old hat.
Bestiality? They’d all done that!
And incest, as well.
But the young man could tell
he’d prefer a whole girl to half cat.
/// Still Oedipus treated her kindly.
“At least I’m not,” he thought resignedly.
“in a pile of dead meat
like the men at my feet.”
Unlike later, he won’t proceed blindly.
/// The Sphinx, for her part, offered thanks
for her wings which could cover her flanks.
She’d gained too much weight
from the humans she ate.
(‘Twas before the invention of Spanx.)