Hippolyte Flandrin, French
“Sorry, Everybody. I Just Came From the Gym and Didn’t Have Time To Change,” 1832
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #2746
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
“Could you please sit down, sir? And you will be eating the rack of lamb. No one else wants it now.”
/// Young Theseus, brimming with pride,
had recently come from outside
where weather was frigid.
So he stood there rigid
near heat the meat course had supplied.
/// Other diners looked on in dismay.
His true purpose I just cannot say.
He may have made linkage
with cold weather shrinkage.
That’s how two loins were heated that day.
/// After Theseus, in Athens, appeared,
King Aegeus (the dude with the beard),
was told by his new wife
to take Theseus’s life.
She had lied: “He’s a foe to be feared.”
/// Queen Medea, knew T was A’s heir,
but Aegeus was still unaware.
It was all going fine;
they had poisoned T’s wine,
which would murder this lad, tall and bare.
/// Then the guests, shocked, all looked up in synch,
when Aegeus knocked over T’s drink.
The vile plot was undone
A knew T was his son!!
(What he recognized, I cannot think!)
/// “T & A” makes him picture a lass,
not this lost-son and father morass.
So when he’s back in town
have the women strip down,
or he’ll give your next banquet a pass.
/// Though to some it seems quite artificial,
what I’ve done is to use an initial,
to replace people’s names.
(Think of “J” used for “James.”)
Fewer syllables, thus beneficial.