Arthur Hughes, English
Guinevere Hated Being Rescued By Knights in Shining Armor, Because She Never Knew How Much To Tip, ca. 1894-1908
Oil on panel
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/// We are shown here the end of the fight.
Overthrowing of the Rusty Knight.
Damsel on bended knee,
while still tied to a tree,
greets the victor, a gleaming delight.
/// He’s a knight in bright white shining armor,
who’s the son of a poor peasant farmer.
After both horsemen meet,
Rusty’s felled in defeat,
just in time and before he could harm her.
/// Two knights dueled in a battle of wills,
like a joust, but with unblunted thrills.
The hero used polish
his foe to demolish,
who was rusty in armor and skills.
/// So the Rusty Knight fell in a ditch
where his body quite soon ceased to twitch.
As the girl was untied,
Sir Knight said, “Be my bride.”
(She’s a maiden, both comely and rich.)
/// With his blade, through the ropes he could slice,
but concluded he ought to think twice.
His very sharp knife
could slip, risking her life.
Just untie the knots was her advice.
/// When undoing the bounds round her hip,
there’s less harm if it’s fingers that slip.
True, he might be off-base,
invade personal space,
but to do this he must get a grip.