Hans Heyerdahl, Norwegian
You Had To Give Kristin Credit. That Was Certainly ONE Way To Make Sure People Paid Attention To Her Wedding Toast, 1882
Oil on wood board
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here (text Google translated first 4,312 of 5,000 character limit and translation of remaining text), and here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// Look, The Girl with Champagne. Cheeks are flushed;
posture’s bad; hair has barely been brushed.
It seems clear that the lass
has had more than one glass,
and that, when she got dressed, she was rushed.
/// Painter Heyerdahl’s model looks “freaky”
and her toplessness proves she is cheeky.
We know “Hans” is his name,
and not “Thor,” who won fame
by both building and sailing Kon-Tiki.
/// Some girls drink and they merely feel drowsy.
Astrid got really drunk and feels lousy.
After ten gins and tonic,
here’s what’s sadly ironic:
The girl out of her blouse looks so blowzy.
/// People called her “The Girl with Champagne,”
(which was meant to express their disdain).
With a drink-addled brain,
she’s too numb to complain
when unbuttoned by legerdemain.
/// To her glass champagne constantly flows,
which explains her flushed cheeks tinted rose,
bloodshot eyes somewhat glazed,
and a smile a bit crazed.
Soon she’ll sport a true drunkard’s red nose.
/// The girl’s mother will scold and berate her
to turn down more refills by the waiter.
“Buzzing ‘round you like flies
are the wrong kind of guys.
Shoulders back; close your blouse; sit up straighter!”
/// Her crass husband, (who thinks he is witty),
dissed her chest which he deemed “itty-bitty.”
Yet she’s nursed babies twice,
so they more than suffice,
and he’s “micro” himself, more’s the pity.