After Franz von Matsch, Austrian
“All in Favor of Getting Someone OTHER Than Lady Gaga To Design Our Helmets Next Time, Say Aye,” 1908
Color print
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (Google translated, if necessary), here (Google translated, if necessary), here (Google translated, if necessary), here (Google translated, if necessary), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// It’s Franz Joseph’s Diamond Jubilee.
German Princes have come here to see
the Emperor, who
greets Kaiser Wilhelm (Two).
All respectful, but none bend the knee.
/// They’re each leaders of people Teutonic,
but for some, the respect is ironic.
Each man here thinks he’s best
and should lead all the rest.
(In this region of Europe, that’s chronic.)
/// These are Princes in Confederation
of the Germans who seek one strong nation.
Here they’ve gathered together.
Though most show “the white feather,”
they’re not cowards; War’s their aspiration.
/// Many manly men met, standing there,
manifesting “machismo” with care.
All of them are impressed
by a guy’s furry chest.
Some are bald, but each sports facial hair.
/// On the wall a huge portrait is seen
of the Austrian-born, late French Queen.
For, Franz Joseph’s aware
of the hatred they share
for all things French— too lush and obscene.
/// Using statecraft is fun, he enjoys it.
Common sense? Strong emotion destroys it.
Here, in Austria, he
controls all that they see.
If advantage exists, he employs it.
/// These are warriors, ready to die.
Follow orders and don’t question why.
At attention they stand,
waiting for a command
to attack the old Austrian guy.
/// They all joined Kaiser Wilhelm the second.
Came to Schönbrunn at once when he beckoned.
Might this lead to a war?
(It had happened before.)
We’re past due for a battle, some reckoned.
/// But an order to fight never came.
Wilhelm read a speech, civil and tame.
While he peacefully jabbered,
each sword stayed in its scabbard.
If the standoff goes on, he’s to blame.