Jehan Georges Vibert, French
It’s All Fun and Games Spying on Your Sunbathing Neighbor Until She Puts Super Glue on the Wall, Date Unknown
Oil on panel
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived, if necessary), here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Valentin played guitar here all week.
He kept hearing female voices speak
from a convent beyond
the stone wall, and he’s fond
of young girls, so he’s Sneaking a Peak.
/// At this one spot the wall’s not so high,
to afford nuns a glimpse of the sky.
On a trellis of wood,
Val on tippy-toes stood;
he’s a creepy voyeur, but he’s shy.
/// He’d be mortified if someone caught
him among the vines scanning the spot
where the postulants dress.
He’s not yet had success,
and he fears that he’s missed his best shot.
/// In an hour he hopes people may come
to this place and hear Val sing and strum.
Few throw coins in his hat,
and he can’t live on that.
Poor musician… or mendicant bum?
/// He has played guitars, banjos, and ukes,
yet for each, all he earns are rebukes.
The notes were so sour
that his tunes had a power:
Each time he (or a listener) pukes.
/// His odd strategy beggars belief.
That he’d scale a high wall like a thief
from a dire urge to pee.
Had he looked he would see
that large earthenware crock for relief.
—— or ——
/// The girl’s père, too protective and rich,
had his men dig a ten foot deep ditch
‘neath the wall, and outside,
climbing vines would provide
reckless suitors an intimate itch.
—— or ——
/// He climbed Ivy each chance that he got.
He’d much rather grip Ivy than not.
‘Til the time, once on top,
they were seen by her Pop.
That’s when by Ivy’s Dad he was shot.