Alessandro Allori, Italian
“Stand Back, Son. I’ve Got This. Excuse Me, Miss, But What Did You Mean When You Said My Dress Was ‘A Lot?’” ca. 1580-1607
Oil on canvas
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Italian Wikipedia page has more).
/// In a rich dress with trim golden yellow,
stands the Grand Duchess Bianca Capello.
By a Grand Prince seduced,
she (his mistress) produced
his eventual heir— this fine fellow.
/// The Prince, named Francesco, was wed,
yet Bianca was lured to his bed.
When Francesco’s young son
(the legitimate one)
died, Bianca’s kid turned heir instead.
/// Her great beauty attracted attention
of rich powerful men, but contention
from her rival, the wife,
who (bad luck?) lost her life.
The de’ Medici clan begot tension.
/// So, good looks and good fortune combined
to make her a Grand Duchess, enshrined
in oils, novels and plays,
but the end of her days
with Francesco’s death was intertwined.
/// Grand Duke perished one day before her.
A coincidence? Such things occur.
But some scholars believe
‘twas malarial fev-
-er, yet others on arsenic concur.
/// Many Medici learned useful skills,
about chemicals which create ills.
Guests would be wise to think
before taking a drink.
They used poison for some of their kills.
/// A victim would be feeling fine,
then drop dead by Medici design.
Arsenic poisoned their foe
and, for all that we know,
it was in elderberry (the wine).
/// This large woman says she has “big bones.”
When she sits, it’s on reinforced thrones.
Though she tries to be cool,
whispered gibes can be cruel.
She takes up, they say, several time zones.