Harold H. Piffard, British
“As Always, It’s Been a True Pleasure Serving You Gentlemen, For a Dehumanizing Wage and Nonexistent Benefits. Now Please Enjoy This Bowl of My Tears,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at another blog entry.
/// Four blithe huntsmen around a long table
and a serving maid, “lovable” Mabel.
Hunters think Mabel’s foxy.
She assumes they’re all poxy,
and, because of that, likely unable.
/// When these huntsmen are hunting a fox
they pretend to be manlier jocks.
Pumped with testosterone,
they won’t leave her alone.
They’re competing like strutting gamecocks.
/// An hour passed as they smoked and swilled booze.
Then one called out for Mabel to choose.
Smiling through their lame “quips,”
she deserves immense tips.
She must find a kind way to refuse.
/// Well aware they have not eaten lunch,
she brings in a large bowl of strong punch.
They’re not going to taste
it’s with laxative laced.
They’ll be leaving soon; that’s Mabel’s hunch.
/// Now The Barmaid’s Revenge was at hand.
It all came off as Mabel had planned.
Huntsmen threw in the towel.
(You can’t fight a full bowel.)
Two who limped off too slowly were banned.
/// They were each in a lecherous mood,
being rude to the maid they pursued.
So she brought them some food,
(they jeered less as they chewed),
and her plan for revenge she reviewed.
/// She was hardly an innocent prude,
but refused by these clowns to be “wooed.”
They drank potions she’d brewed;
while passed out were tattooed.
Thus she granted their wish— they got screwed.
/// They’ve found hunting to be a huge bore
which pays nothing!. They need to earn more.
Throw away riding crops.
Khaki pants with red tops
lets them work in that new Target store.